Life Lessons

I had the typical honeymoon experience when I arrived here. I met interesting people from around the world, saw stellar works of art, and ate in nice restaurants. I was a tourist, and it was great.

When culture shock started to set in, it wasn't anything like I expected. I started comparing Italy to the US, but I didn't feel like it was in a condescending way. I wasn't really thinking about whether things were better in the US or anything like that. I wasn't lonely to any great extent. I missed, and miss, you guys a lot, but I've found a good support system here and I've never been paralyzed by homesickness. I liked, and I like, life here.

Maybe I haven't been here long enough, and I'll experience TRUE culture shock later. But the thing that rocked my boat here was something slightly different than anything I've ever read in a textbook.

What shook me the most was when I began questioning my ability to make a good living here. MBA's may be a dime-a-dozen in the United States, but I've never lacked confidence in my abilities to make a good living there. Maybe I couldn't command 100K out of grad school like a Harvard Alumnus could, but I wouldn't starve either.

A month ago I began wondering if it's a different story here. The rules all changed on me. I couldn't speak the language, so I felt inferior... or at the very least disadvantaged. It's difficult when you have a post-graduate education and the vocabulary of a two-year old. You feel trapped, claustrophobic.

I used teaching English as my "foot-in-the-door" to get into Italy. It got me here quickly, and I enjoy doing it. It also gives me a great opportunity to network and learn about business and the different regions of the city. I don't really regret that decision (now). My students make me feel like I'm important to them. They talk about how critical speaking English is for career advancment, and it makes me feel good to be a part of that.

But to language schools, I'm just a commodity. Hundreds of kids get their ESL/EFL certificates every year and enter the job market. Yeah, they're green, but they're "madrelingua" (mother-tongue), and that's the most important qualification. €9/hr is a good job for some people, but after 20 years of education my ego won't allow me to go there. Today I feel blessed that I don't have to.

I didn't choose to be born in the US. I didn't choose to have great parents who were willing to sacrifice to give me a private education. I didn't choose for them to teach me to work hard or to recognize the value of a good education. I think we take for granted that little kids can't figure that out on their own. They need role models.

I see these gypsy kids in the street begging for money, and it's sad that this is the kind of work their parents taught them to do. And it IS work. They would much rather be spending their time with their friends then spending morning to night pleading for change from faces that despise them. It isn't an easy life for these kids. It's unpleasant business. I doubt you could have paid me for very long to do the same thing when I was a child. Sure I sold trash bags for the baseball team and popcorn for the Boy Scouts, but that was a couple times a year at most. These kids are out there every day. It's a necessity for them.

The Bangladeshi often come into the restaurants at night selling the most ridiculous garbage some sap somewhere must buy to keep the industry going: flashing keychains, trinkets, turtle massagers - you name it. The merchandise goes for €1 for each item, and I've never seen anyone buy. What do you think the profit margin is on something like that?

THAT is a job. Could you imagine going home to your wife with €10 on the day? I can't. The male ego can be a fragile thing, and I grieve to think what it must be to feel you can't provide for your loved ones. I couldn't bear it.

It paints a whole different picture of the US for me. Let's face it, we all, in our subconscious, have a negative perception of those poorer than us. "I could never live in something like that." But people do. Their choices don't look like ours. Sure, they could overcome their circumstances with a bit of elbow grease and a good education, but who inspires them? Where do they go to get the knowledge they need? How do they take the first step?

Managers of about 100 people in private companies here make around €40K per year. Many people my age make around €15K. Some work for free in hopes that they will be offered a paying job in a year or so. As a result, many live with their parents until they're 35. How little do we have to make in the US before we consider ourselves to be poor? Many of us are kings, unaware.

I've never felt so weak as when my earning power was in question. It was crippling, and my situation was temporary. I could have always gone back to the States if things became excessively difficult. It's nice to have a parachute, but they're in short supply for others when we look at things on a global scale.

If you're in a tight situation, hold on to gratitude for what you DO have. I live in an industrialized country, and yet there are many people here who would be grateful to have such a long fall to desperation as many in the States do. In America we are truly blessed.