I hurt.

Three weeks ago, when I wrote about the pain of losing a friend, I never imagined I would be feeling like this now. I've never cried so much in my life, and the things I wrote before seem to pale in comparison. Anabella, the largest contributor to my success here, my best friend, and my strongest supporter, died while taking a nap Thursday evening at about 6:30 pm. The capability to believe that this happened is about as elusive as the answers as to why. Even when seeing her body lying there in the hospital, I just knew that her eyes would open and she would laugh again. But she didn't. I hurt in a way beyond words. I miss her so much...

Doctors did an autopsy on Saturday, and we're hoping to know more today (Monday). As much as I grieve, I cannot imagine the pain of her parents and family, still in Argentina. They couldn't afford to come here on such short notice, so they have been relying on updates from us here in Italy. It grieves me to no end that they can't be here to see her, to grieve, to scream, to cry in the place that their daughter lived, laughed, and impacted so many. Please pray for some kind of peace and understanding for them. I can't immagine the anguish they must be feeling right now.

They are hoping to send the body back to Argentina for the funeral either today or tomorrow. I don't really have the strength or will to write much else right now...