An update of sorts...

I've only cried once so far today, so I guess that's something. Mandy asked for an update, so I'll try...

We still don't know the cause of death. Yesterday they said they would give us more information Wednesday. I don't know if that means they're still searching or they just didn't have time to complete the report.

Anabella didn't have any medical history that really explains any of this. She off-handedly mentioned one time that she had some sort of epileptic event several years ago (7-10). She took medicine for a while and never had any recurrance. When she told me about it, she was so dismissive that I didn't put much thought into it. Honestly I don't think it's possible that it was related anyway.

Pina, the woman she was living with, spoke with her shortly before she went to sleep Thursday afternoon. She was laughing and didn't show any signs that anything was wrong. She had just been working a lot and said she was tired, needed to take a nap. Pina left the house for around 45 minutes, and when she came back she heard Anabella's cell phone ringing. After it went off several times, she came in the room to ask Anabella why she wasn't answering the phone. She found her in the same position she left her, peacefully sleeping, she thought. She just couldn't wake her up.

This is why I don't think it was anything related to epilepsy. She was in the same position as she was when Pina left, and they performed CPR right away. I don't know too much about these things, but I would guess that they would have known if she had swallowed her tongue or something like that.

Our best guess is that she either had an aneurism or had some sort of undetected heart problem. There were elevated levels of potassium in her blood, which is a tell-tale sign of a heart attack, I'm told.

They rushed her to the hospital and tried to revive her for over an hour. They usually stop after 25 minutes, but they gave Anabella more time because she was so young.

Our pastor was the pastor of her family in Argentina before moving here 12 years ago. One of the pastor's sons, Sebastian, and his daughter, Marina, stayed in Argentina where Anabella's parents acted as sort of surrogate parents for them. When Anabella moved here about a year and a half ago, she first lived with the pastor and his wife (The Zarazagas) before moving in with his son Francisco and wife Sidanelia. In other words, the Zarazagas were Anabella's second family here in Italy. Sebastian, who is about 29 years old and leads our young-adults small group, took responsibility of calling the family and managing all of the legal details that had to happen (communicating information, sending her body to Argentina, etc.). We've been in touch every day since just to get updates on the family and medical reports.

It's been difficult feeling a bit helpless. I've had to rely on everyone else to explain everything carefully. Dealing with something like this in a second language is a bit trying. It makes me feel powerless in the sense that I couldn't comprehend all the technical details and had to ask a lot of questions.

I'm really grateful that all of my friends here have been very supportive. Leah flew in on Wednesday night and was here on Friday when I learned everything. She was definitely a God-send - someone who both knows me and has considerable experience in dealing with grief. Her words were more than a blessing.

I'm also really grateful for Liana, Anabella's close friend here in Italy. Liana is a Canadian/American who was born here in Italy and has been involved in several of the same programs Anabella participated in, most importantly a Mennonite Central Committee program in Vancouver. They became fast and instant friends, helped by Liana's fluency in Spanish after living in Honduras for a year (she's sort of a language genius, speaking four fluently). At any rate, she, I think more than anyone, is feeling more or less the same things I'm feeling, and it's been great to share conversations with her.

I went back to work yesterday, which was a bit of a disaster. My boss told me I didn't have to be there and to take the time I needed, but honestly I don't know what else to do. My friends are working and it's not really the best for me to sit at home alone with my thoughts. I'm just taking everything a day at a time. Every hour seems to be a bit better. It helps to know that her faith in Christ was very strong. Anabella believed that Christ had died for her sins and that when she died she was going to a better place. I know that she is happier than ever in heaven now. The pain of not having her here is still very real. I think God grieves with us in this loss even though He's happy to have Anabella with Him where there is no more pain or disappointment.

Anabella's mom expressed the same sentiment. Liana talked to her yesterday, and she said she was very proud of Anabella, that she knew Anabella was chasing her dreams here in Italy and felt God had ordained that for her. She knew God had really blessed her with some unique opportunities and had peace that she was doing the right thing. She has an incredible strength that I could see in Anabella as well.

Anyway, that's all for now. I guess if you have any specific questions I'll try to answer them. In summary I hurt a lot, but there is some beauty in all of this. I'm grateful for the time I had with Anabella, and I'm excited to see her complete one day in heaven. I wanted to see her win here on earth, but I know now that's trivial in the grand scheme of God's plan for her eternity.

Love you guys.